I think about sketching 24/7

I’ve been trying to write here and I probably have written and remove 6 opening intros but it just doesn’t feel right.

Why on earth does it feel so ironic – no, I think that’s not the right word for that, let me try to explain.

The things that I manifested to own before – things that nurture my hobbies like laptop for writing, and iPad for drawing – these things that I already posses now, didn’t help spark my interest anymore. How do you explain this and like having these realizations, these things inside my head, and dealing a hard time trying to understand the complexities  makes me feel frustrated.