Yesterday I only had an hour of sleep because I wasn’t expecting that I’d be engaged with Game of Thrones series. I’m not really a fan so I just skipped some of the episodes and just watched only the Khaleesi and her dragons and some of the nude part (LOL) Shame! Since it’s almost sunrise, I decided to go the my city’s famous wet market and buy some vegetables for Lucy, my pet Siberian Husky. At the time I reached maybe 500 meters away from the market, I decided to eat at McDonald’s. But then, luckily, they weren’t open until 6AM, so I ended up having my breakfast with one the city’s famous food stall that serves Puto Tapol which is Davao’s version of glutinous rice cake with coconut milk and Tsokolate – a hot chocolate/cacao drink. Back when I was a kid, my grandmother always bought this one for our breakfast and is usually wrapped with banana leaves. It tastes better if you add maybe 1/2 tbsp. of brown sugar. That was a very nostalgic breakfast. The reason why I was able to write this blog.
Very late this evening, I felt again the trembling on my right hand which I use to draw. I am really afraid that this might turn out as Parkinson’s disease since we had a history of that illness and I’ve witnessed that from my late grandfather. I was feeling upset about not being able to draw a simple straight line or even trace and ink. It’s like magnitude 2 on seismograph. I went to Facebook telling my network that I could not draw for two weeks and it’s making me ill. You do not go to Facebook to seek for empathy. That’s bullshit. In my case, I did it because I know that who I’ve added on Facebook are the ones I know that wouldn’t judge me in any ways. Surprisingly, there were a couple of people who sympathized with my right hand. Again, I felt stupid with that. So sorry but but not really sorry.
At the end of the day, it was all about art which I had a conversation with someone from my High School batch. When I was in high school, I spend probably 80% dreaming of becoming an animator someday. I did not bother doing anything else except drawing and a little computer games. Yeah I did couple of sports back then but it involved spending a couple of visits in the hospital which is cool since I get to have premium passes away from my despised subjects. I’m such a nerd that the School Year Book publication took me as a cartoonist which led me to doing all of my batch mates the caricature versions of themselves. I was an intrinsic artist before. I could not draw under pressure. That’s the reason why I dislike doing that job as the official cartoonist of our batch. The evidences are so real that you’ll notice I only did some serious cartooning for my friends. Others are just bummers and probably half baked. I received some criticisms from a few but those weren’t important for me back then because I know deep inside I did a pretty good job doing my crush’s caricature. I did her caricature with feelings. Haha! Ehem, Apart from my close friends, every thing else was transparent and ennui.
I didn’t realize, not until now, that my caricatures had a great impact from the people who I’ve heard telling their stories that they could not forget the drawing I did for them 14 years ago. You see, I didn’t know I could make an impression and influence others with my gift. This gift that sometimes I consider as a curse.
Nevertheless, their criticisms wasn’t important to me before because I had a large tolerance for ignorance. But now, I guess I learned a lot lessons from the pain because of my art. You see, I made our high school yearbook remarkable even if I did not dedicate 100% of my effort for that. I am confident to say that since I had four confessions from my school mates. If I were given a pill to get back to a specific time and space, I would go back to the time when I started doing the cartoons for my batch. I remember our office was on the cupboard. It was dusty and tight but I did most of the caricatures there. I will go back to that time and draw them their caricatures with all my heart because I know that they will never forget it in the future. Their graduation photo is present on each of their page, but people will stare at my art works. That’s how great of an impact it was. How beautiful it would be if I dedicated all my efforts.
Relieved but still suppressed.
When it comes to art, I believe I have reasonable wisdom to share. I know that because I can influence others with my passion and that’s a different branch of what I already consider as an art. The art to inspire others.